Skip to main content

The colony of Funyanya II

On the night of the first month of the year, Funyanya as usual slept in the bossom of her handsome husband, Kambe. She loved it when he sleeps behind her and cuddles her to bed. At dawn, she was awoken by something hard and pointy, pressing on her heavy, round bottoks. Kambe had had his manly morning dose of erection. She smiled and thought to herself, "How convenient!, This might actually work." She turned to face Kambe, He was awake, smiling and looking into her eyes. They shared a deep kiss and made love. During their pillow talk afterwards, she asked Kambe, "what will bring an end to this war in the kingdom? 
"I don't think it ever will" Kambe responded, " let's not sway away from what our fathers thought us"
"But it's wrong!" She retorted.
"Well, even if You and I decide not to be part of it, how do we get everyone else to comply? " He asked. Funyanya rose and hurried to the rivers to fetch some water.
🍆🍆🍆🍆
On the night of the full moon, when the men were at war, Funyanya gathered all the women in the kingdom at the sanctuary groove of the goddess, Funyanya. She had been secretly making peace with the other women on the other side of the kingdom, woman by woman; on her way to fetch water every morning. She had shared with them the news to meet her at the groove on the night of the full moon. All the women in the kingdom were present. They all agreed to do whatever it takes to end the war. Led by Funyanya, they agreed and swore by the sacred groove of the goddess, to deny their husbands of any sexual pleasure, until they agreed to meet at the groove to make peace. It was really hard to get all the women to swear, but Funyanya taught and encouraged them, that if they didn't swear, all the men would loose their lives in the war, and there will be no men left to marry them. They made the oath, with their bloods, by the sacred groove of the goddess, under the full moon before going to their various homes. Anyone who broke the oath will run insane till they die. 
🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆
Funyanya built a secret hideout for women who were having issues with their husbands after denying them sex. Within days, all the women in land came to settle there. They stayed together in peace. They wove baskets and moulded pots every day. In a couple of weeks, every man was seen with a visible erected penis in the kingdom. It was an unbearable sight. Some men masturbated from time to time, but Funyanya encouraged the women, "No man can stay without sex for too long". She was right, by the end of the next two full moons, the men miraculously found the secret hideout and begged their wives to come back home. The women told their husbands, that they would have to swear by the sacred groove of Funyanya, to stop the war and remain at peace with each other, before they would come back home. 
🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆
The desperate and horny men  reluctantly agreed and took the oath while their erected penises faced each other. They took their wives home that very same night.
🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆 
Sounds of moans from love making spread throughout the kingdom like wildfire. There's a lot of love in the colony of Funyanya, the ever peaceful kingdom.🙏
The end.

An adaptation of Aristophanes' Lysistrata.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The dirty dishes

Many children in the average Ghanaian houshold cannot escape house chores; some of which includes sweeping the compound, fetching water from the community vantage tap, sending the refuse to its respective dump, doing dishes, cleaning the hen coop, going into the bush with a cutlass and a jute sack to look for and cut grass for the goats' feeding, doing the laundry, among others; Or at least those were most of my chores as a child.  However, the chore I dreaded doing the most was to wash the dirty dishes. Being the perfectionist that I was as a child, cleaning the dishes would mean that I would have to spend a lot of time scraping and rinsing. Anytime I heard my mother call out my name to go and do the dishes, my fragile heart would skip a beat. I could sometimes shed a bucket of tears before beginning the process of doing the dishes. We didn't have a sink, so I usually used basins. Other times I would spend an awful amount of time wallowing and dreading of the thoughts of doing...

Dear old pipe

..... And there I was on my porch, rocking myself up and forth to the rhythm of an unknown melody. Unknown to myself and to the world. 🗑️ My gaze was fixed on the bridge that leads to my hut; while I smoked my pipe with the hopes that the fire I inhale will penetrate my lungs to my heart. Oh yes burn! 🗑️🗑️ Dear pipe whom I smoke, burn it all. Because every fibre of my heart has been murdered. Murdered by my own imaginations and the deeds of men; disrespect and betrayal.  Oh yes, burn it all!  🗑️🗑️🗑️ When it is well cremated, do not worry about the chars. They will escape through my pores and valves. Dear old pipe whom I smoke, burn it all. 🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️

My dairies as a big breasted representative in the Pink October Month.

October is here again. Drawing the necessary attention to create awareness for breast cancer. However, others perceive it as a time to feast their eyes and enjoy pleasurable views of bare-chested and braless women with stimulated and protruding nipples. I've always had big breasts. Right from my teenage days, when they started developing, my parents and everyone close to me knew that my breasts would stand out and be very prominent. Having big breasts has been a huge struggle; even though it is admired by many, it also welcomed stigma and physical and psychological challenges. The size and shape of an individual's breast rely solely on genetics and weight. The breast tissues can loosen due to factors like old age, lack of exercise, weight fluctuations and hormonal changes. Some people have collated the size and shapes of breasts below; Let's have a look. "Round — The breasts are equally full at the top and bottom. East-west — The right and left breasts go from the cent...